Our Gift

I love seeing God work in our lives. I love being able to clearly identify where we end and His grace begins. Of course it doesn't always happen this way. I usually am confident that I have it all worked out my way and with my timing (yes, you can laugh).

In October I posted about the excitement and hope we had for what God was doing in our lives at that point. Little did I know, I only saw a small part of God's masterpiece. I ended this post saying...

“I can vaguely see the outline of where this road is going, and I cannot wait to get there. Although, if the road makes an unexpected turn or there are bumps along the way I can say that I will still enjoy the ride and I have faith that where we end up will be even better then where I imagine we are going.”

As I wrote this paragraph something stirred inside me. When I read the paragraph to Ryan I had tears rolling down my face. I had no idea why I was reacting this way but I knew there was something powerful about what God just wrote through me.

A week before this post we had found out I was pregnant. A week after this post I miscarried the baby. This wasn't my first miscarriage experience, but it never gets easier. I was naive enough to think that since I had Sam I was healed and would not have to deal with this pain again. As I processed the pain of loosing this baby God brought me back to this blog post several times. Each time I would revel at the clarity and truth of the statement. It truly was amazing, I thought I was writing about great promise and hope, yet God was writing through me the exact statement I would need to hear when I was in great pain. God is loving and powerful.

Much has changed since this post in October. Much has changed in the last few weeks. We continued to follow God down the road He was leading us. Unsure of where we would end up. He has again shown us his love and blessing through expecting another child!

We had our first doctors appointment earlier this week and they were able to confirm a healthy baby and we could see the little heartbeat! After experiencing the early loss of a baby I cannot explain the overwhelming joy we experienced when we saw that fluttering little heart. As if the moment wasn't emotional enough Sam contributed by saying “baby” and blowing kisses at the monitor.

I am very thankful for my little family and I am very thankful for God's love and faithfulness.