Stress, Anxiety and Insecurities.

I have recently begun using journaling as stress relief. Last month I began having trouble sleeping; spending hours wide awake, over thinking each and every area of my life. I quickly became anxious and stressed. While discussing this with my lovely sister, she suggested using a journaling method she uses in times like these. Her goal is to journal 3 pages, writing continuously and not filtering anything that comes to mind. Even if you can’t think of something to write, keep the pen moving. This could mean writing “I can’t think of anything to write.” Or “The pen is moving” over and over.
Once I began using this journaling method I found it very soothing. I wrote down all of the thoughts that were making me anxious, along with any actions I could take to alleviate the stress or anxiety. Writing these things down then reminds me to discuss what I need to with Ryan or take the required actions the next day.
Journaling also allows me to explore how I am feeling and why. Identifying my emotions has always been tough for me. Using this tool to work through my emotions before taking them out on whoever is around has been great.
Often, while I am writing, God places certain things on my heart, or will whisper His promises. This happened yesterday and I thought I would share the message.
First, some background: I have always dealt with several insecurities. More times than not, these insecurities stop me from speaking my mind or being open with people. I have been working on my confidence over the past year and have seen some improvements, but I still have bad days or certain situations will bring up the lingering feelings of inadequacy. I was having one of these days yesterday. Having every sentence I said questioned or judged. I realized this has been happening for a while and feeding my anxiety.
While writing about this during my journal time here is what God pressed on my heart:
“When I constantly question my thoughts or so carefully shield my sentences I am developing insecurity where God wants abundance.”
Now, this goes beyond using discretion. I encourage everybody to think about what they say, before they say it. However, I know that I have stopped myself from saying something that could have encouraged somebody or could have been something God needed them to hear. I have been allowing myself to get in the way of God’s message.
I need to hold onto God’s promises. God created me just the way I am. He adores my quirks and my odd sense of humor. Hiding this or filtering it out of each conversation is hiding a piece of God’s masterpiece. Essentially, I am smudging the paint on something God sees as perfect.
My mission this month is to step out in confidence and allow others to see the Elyse God created.